Yesterday I received this email:
“Dear Grandma Shaman, I attract good but angry people into my circle of loved ones because I realize I equate inner strength with anger. This is a new and liberating thought for me since it is the big puzzle piece missing in all my relationships. I also realized that I was always focusing on others’ anger toward me but that I too am filled with unresolved anger. The anger coming at me from others and the anger within me are like Mt. Vesuvius erupting, ready to bury me.
“Sunday I was put to the test. I went to an LA premiere of a superb film on the difficulties transgender people have. At the post-event celebration, there was a person whose energy was pulling on me like a magnet. I questioned myself, why this pull since I definitely don’t want a relationship right now what with the ink not dry on my divorce papers. Then…bingo!…I knew why…he is “strong.” But I saw for the first time through the masquerade. He is not strong, he is filled with anger. Just like all my exes including former “best” friends. Just like my mom.”
Does this formula sound familiar, mi hija? Equating anger with strength? Is this the fatal attraction in your life?
Another question: Is this why you fly off the handle more often than you care to? Because you want to be strong? You don’t want to be a “wimp.”
Think about it, as my son Peter would say. Does this serve you? Does this serve anybody? There are things and occasions where you should show righteous anger… like world hunger, irresponsible politicians and beheadings. But, not because the waitress got your order wrong or your child’s room is messy (Close the door. It is not a reflection on you.) Or similar less world shaking occurrences in your life.
So work on those anger patterns so you will be free of them. Get a soul clean-out. Read my upcoming book, “Basta ya! Enough Already!” to get grounded on the seven universal principles that I had to use to be able to survive and thrive.
Believe in yourself. And don’t equate anger with strength. That formula is bogus. Bad math!
Why? Because I’m your Grandma Shaman and I love you. Furthermore, because, girlfriend,
Basta ya! Enough already!!